God’s Perfect Timing
This entry was posted on Thursday, May 24th, 2007
By Anna
It was in 2003 that I went back to Bread of Life – Makati, when the construction of Mosaic Lounge started. Listening to the different stories of sacrifices made me ask God why He didn’t allow me to be part of His work. Whatever His reasons were, I wasn’t given yet the opportunity to take part in the work. In my heart I wanted to, but I guess God had to do some refining first before He would allow me to. Otherwise, I wouldn’t take it as a privilege but rather an accomplishment-depriving God of the glory He alone deserves.
This year when the work for the Mosaic Ministries was announced, I was so excited! But maybe, it was more of eagerness to take part in the sacrifices for this great and awesome work.
This year also is the year God revealed to me and made me discover the one thing I’ve been looking for so long, that is, my passion in life-Interior Design. I’ve been through a long journey before having discovered that I really am a Designer by heart! I was so excited that it was like finding my true love. I remember it was Feb. 14 that I was alone in the rest room jumping and shouting (silently, he he) and saying repeatedly “I have found the love of my life! I have found the love of my life!” It was indeed like falling in love. I was ready to jump, so I decided to submit my resignation letter even though I don’t have a work yet and I wasn’t sure where to get my tuition fee for my schooling considering that the school I’ve decided to enroll in would really cost a lot.
During this time, my family and I are going through a tough time financially. In my mind doing this was impossible – leaving my job, going back to school… But I told God, ‘Lord, kahit anung mangyari tatalon ako’!
It was also during this time that I had to go through an operation. God provided indeed, so I told myself I have proven more that there’s nothing impossible with Him. I chose to trust Him no matter what!
Then the meeting came for the Mosaic Ministries’ grouping or teams. I remembered, if I’m not mistaken, one of our elders said that whatever plans we have this year postpone it next year. So I asked the Lord right at that very moment, “Lord do you want me to give it up? But you said…” Holding in my heart the promises He gave me when I went up the mountain early this year.
I don’t easily give up on something. So in my heart I’m still fighting for it, ready to walk in faith but inside I also want to give it up, if He wants me to. Then I remembered my prayer to the Lord, “Father, I won’t offer you anything that costs me nothing…” I guess cost doesn’t just involve money or property, it’s more of something that you’re really so in love with, you’re gonna die if you’re deprived of it. That’s the feeling I have for Interior Design, not doing it is same as dying. I asked the Lord repeatedly if He really wants me to give it up because I can’t imagine having to take it next year when I can take it this year! It’s not easy giving it up.
I remember the story of Abraham and Isaac…we all know the story. Just when God had given the desire of your heart, that’s when He would ask it back from you. He’s the One who has given it, He can take it back, and then in His own time and way, He’ll give it back. He won’t place a desire in my heart that He never meant to fulfill.
I have it all planned, the timing, everything. For me it’s not a question of whether I have enough faith to jump into my calling, the question is about how much I love Him-enough to trust His perfect timing…
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